


"Winston Should Go To Jail"

by AmethystScholar



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 06:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10270301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmethystScholar/pseuds/AmethystScholar
Summary: Buncha freaks. (Inspired by the Overwatch forums)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Explanation + context: https://us.battle.net/forums/en/overwatch/topic/20753587496?page=1

The smell of the air was ripe with victory as Winston stood proud, looking over rest of his team-- Tracer, Soldier 76, Mercy, and the new recruit known as D.Va were examining the wreckage of the destroyed Omnics they had defeated. Another successful mission carried out by the newly revived Overwatch. Through their bravery and dedication, they had saved the small village of Kapan from certain destruction.  
It was a shame, Winston noted, that the village had been evacuated, meaning that nobody could see the good deed that his squad had carried out.  
“Look!” Tracer shouted, pointing at the sky, where a black hovercraft with the United Nations sigil was displayed boldly on its side.  
“They’re probably coming to congratulate us,” Winston smiled, watching the aircraft touch down on the ground. The side door opened and three men and a woman in black suits stepped out. They were smiling, but they were cold ones. Their eyes showed no relief that the Nepalese village had been saved from certain destruction.  
Winston stepped forward towards the newcomers.  
“Hello. It’s an honor to--” He was cut short by a kick to the chest from the woman with a blonde bun, unbalancing him. Two men from either side of the woman charged at him with full force. Winston fell to the ground from the unexpected blows.  
“Winston!” Tracer screamed from behind him, where he could feel huge metal handcuffs placed around his gigantic gorilla wrists.  
“Winston Churchill,” a man in a black suit said. “You are under arrest for breaking international law.”  
“But we saved a village!” D.Va cried.  
“That doesn’t matter. It was a good thing you did, but Mr. Churchill has broken international law, in clear violation of the Petras Act.”  
“But what about Blizzard?” Mercy asked. “How are they going to survive without Winston?”  
The man shrugged. “There’s no story mode, so I fail to see how that will change anything. Winston is a terrible tank anyways.”  
Winston paused.  
“What. Did. You. Say?” Winston asked calmly.  
“I said you’re a shit tank.”  
“I’ll show you a fucking shit tank,” Winston growled, enraged. With a sudden roar, he broke free of the cuffs, taking one man and flinging him 30 meters. The rest of the team wasted no time in springing into action, fighting and kicking and punching, until the United Nations officers were all fucking rekt. Save one.  
Winston had the officer who had insulted him pinned to the ground, inches from his face.  
“Say it,” Winston roared. “Say I’m best tank.”  
“Never,” the man spat.  
Winston punched him in the jaw, intending to knock out a few teeth. Instead, with his gigantic gorilla strength, he broke the officer’s skull, instantly killing the man for no reason other than wanting to get this story over with.  
“Let this be a lesson to you,” Winston said as the last remaining traces of his Beast Mode vanished. “Don’t try to arrest a gigantic gorilla.”


End file.
